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Post by Amy81 on Feb 28, 2006 7:40:26 GMT -6
Amy's eyes started to tear up. "It's not hollow" she said. "When we missed the ride on the Pylos, the most overriding thought in my head was that I wasn't going to see you again. I didn't think about the danger I was in, or that I might die soon, any of that. I thought about the people that I wouldn't see again, and how sad it was."
Brie just nodded, listening.
"Then of course, I tried like hades to survive and make it back. But in the moments when we weren't taking on purple cylons, or ringing Baltar's neck, when we were hiding out or taking a rest, I thought about how we'd not had the chance to say goodbye."
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Post by Brie on Feb 28, 2006 10:13:23 GMT -6
Brie wiped a tear from her own eye. "That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, leaving when we did. The last message I had received from Lazant was for us to stick to schedule, and even then I gave as much extra time as I could. If we hadn't left when we did we wouldn't have made it to the Galactica and no one from the mission would have survived. As it was, Sergeant Brinfort almost didn’t make it. They said he literally had only microns left when we landed.”
“Brie, I already told you that I understand,” Amy reminded her. “I don’t blame you for leaving.”
“I know,” Brie replied. “But that doesn’t stop me from blaming myself.”
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Post by Amy81 on Feb 28, 2006 10:29:35 GMT -6
"You did what you had to do" Amy insisted. "There isn't any reason to blame yourself for anything." Amy thought for a moment. "If anything, if there's any blame to go around, it should be directed toward me and Lazant."
Brie looked as if she didn't understand.
"We're like boraton and tylium, Lazant and me. It was supposed to be my command, but when he showed up he tried to just take over. We're both captains, and I thought that was complete felgercarb. I guess I should have picked a better time to pick a fight, but I resented his attitude." She thought for a moment. "I guess I've always resented his attitude towards me. We just don't get along, from way back to that other tribunal. Anyway, add up the precious microns we sniped at each other, and we might have made it. Deke might have made it." And Astraea'd still be lost Amy thought. And I'd maybe not be pregnant... And my dad might still be alive...
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Post by Brie on Feb 28, 2006 10:52:08 GMT -6
“The command was mine,” Brie replied. “I have to accept full responsibility. The whole mission was ridiculous if you ask me. They couldn’t come up with anything better than a plan that was supposed to cost over thirty people their lives?” Brie looked embarrassed for a micron. “I almost forgot. When we were on the Pylos, there was a young infantry member named Corporal Peterson who died in my arms. His dying wish was for me to give you a message.”
Amy waited, but Brie didn’t say any more. “What was it?” she asked at last.
Brie smiled. “He wanted me to tell you that you’re really pretty.”
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Post by Amy81 on Feb 28, 2006 11:15:11 GMT -6
Amy sat for a moment, unsure of herself. She thought hard, but couldn't place who Corporal Peterson was. Or used to be. But he'd died, thinking of her...?
She'd been on the brink of tears anyway, and now her face screwed up in sadness over somebody that she didn't even know, who thought it important enough with his dying breath to let her know she was pretty.
She put her head down, letting the pain out. Pain that hadn't been there for her father now poured out for this faceless corporal. And that just made it worse.
She looked up, saw that Brie had a tissue for her, and just threw her arms around the Major, hugging her tightly. "Brie" she sobbed. "Why couldn't it have turned out differently?"
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Post by Brie on Feb 28, 2006 13:57:16 GMT -6
Brie held Amy close and gently stroked her hair. "It's okay to let it out. We're supposed to get used to it, the pain, the destruction, the death all around us, but if we grow numb to it then we're no better than the Cylons. We hunt them down or they hunt us down, none of it makes any sense. Making a living offering ourselves up as bait, knowing that any mission could be our last. On the moon mission I purposely didn't learn the names of the infantry members because I knew that they were just there to keep the warrior team from getting killed for as long as possible. I have never felt so heartless in my entire life. But that's why you need to take care of yourself and your baby."
"Why?" Amy asked between sobs, not seeing the connection.
"Because your baby is our future," Brie said, thinking of a time long ago. "There's nothing more precious than that tiny little life, and I'm sure that you would do anything to keep him or her safe. Even if it includes breaking your own heart." Brie paused, realizing that she was coming dangerously close to telling Amy the truth. She wiped another tear from her own eye. "And if it makes you feel any better, Corporal Peterson's last words weren't about you, they were a reminder to me of how old I'm getting."
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Post by Amy81 on Mar 2, 2006 6:46:46 GMT -6
Amy wiped at her eyes. "Would you stop" she said, managing a little smile. "You aren't old. You make Gold Squadron go. The people in it feed off your energy and enthusiasm. You just have to give yourself a chance to realize that, and see that it's true. And if you'd get moving on that and allow yourself a life, you could add a tiny little life to our future too. Do you regret not having a child? Would you if you never did?"
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Post by Brie on Mar 2, 2006 13:57:55 GMT -6
Brie grinned. "I have a whole squadron full of children. Doesn't that count?"
"No," Amy replied. "But you've been speaking so tenderly about my baby. You'd be a great mother."
"I'd be a lousy mother," Brie said quickly. "It's also not possible, given the life I lead. When you and Charybdis take the seal at least he's a bridge officer, a relatively safe position. Since neither Turner nor I have any surviving family we never even considered it, until we thought that he had found his long, lost brother. Then we talked about the possibility. We figured if we both died the kid would still have family, instead of being sent to the Orphan Ship. But then the tests came back negative and his so-called brother never even contacted him again."
"Was that when you had the miscarriage?" Amy asked.
"Huh?" Brie had almost forgotten the lie she had been forced to tell earlier. "Oh, no."
"Then why did you decide to have..."
"Some things don't happen by choice," Brie said swiftly. "They just sort of happen. But answering your question, I have no regrets. Going back to that 'finding Earth tomorrow' scenario, I still don't think I'd want to have a child of my own."
"Why not?" Amy wanted to know.
Brie smiled again. "Because I'd be too busy spoiling yours."
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Post by Amy81 on Mar 3, 2006 7:08:36 GMT -6
Amy looked down at her stomach. It didn't look like she was pregnant at all. "I'll look forward to that" she said. "And I know what you mean about things not happening by choice. This was not planned. At the time there was nothing to plan for. If I'd had any idea that I might actually make it back..."
"You'd have done something differently?" Brie asked.
Amy thought a moment, then shook her head. "Who am I kidding. That day before I left, I couldn't control anything that happened even if I'd tried."
"Do you regret it now?"
Amy shook her head again. "No. As long as this is what I'm hoping it is. And if it's not, if it's some sort of cylon experiment, then there was nothing I could have done about what happened to me. And what me and Charybdis shared before I left helped me face the things I did on that base. It allowed me to face the fact that I might die there." Her face screwed up, just enough to betray her true feelings. "I didn't want to die. But if what I'm carrying isn't Charybdis's, I might just want to."
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Post by Brie on Mar 3, 2006 10:50:49 GMT -6
“It has to be his,” Brie remarked. “The Cylons are into destroying human life, not creating it. It’s not in their programming. And I’m no doctor but I do know this, the female body will go to great lengths to protect an unborn child. I’ve read the reports from Lazant and Astraea and with what you went through; the cold cell, the gourt root, near starvation, the stasis chamber, maybe your body in some unprecedented way found out how to keep the baby safe. And you know, some women don’t ever show. I knew a woman once who went to sick bay with stomach cramps and delivered a healthy, full-term baby. She had no idea that she was pregnant, just thought that she had put on a couple of pounds.”
(Side note-That actually happened to a woman who worked for my dad, on April Fool's Day of all days. Good thing they worked in a hospital! She then called her husband and he didn't believe her.)
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