|
|
Post by Amy81 on Jan 13, 2005 6:23:48 GMT -6
Elmer stalked the halls of the Callisto, Abby's words still echoing in her ears...
"If you do this Elmer" she said, "If you go searching for Colonel Charybdis, I won't be waiting for you when you get back."
Elmer just blinked. "Fine. Take the shuttle. I'll catch up to you on the next one."
Abby's stare was cold. "I didn't say I would be on the shuttle."
Elmer hadn't stayed around to find out more. Fool woman! Where else was she going to go? Still, it ate at him. Abby wasn't the same anymore. Nothing was, now that Amy was gone. Once they got back to the fields on the Agro ship, she'd settle back down again. She just needs to feel normal.
"And I need to find Colonel Charybdis", Elmer muttered.
|
|
|
|
Post by Amy81 on Jan 13, 2005 6:42:29 GMT -6
It took a little while, and Elmer had to ask directions several times. The people he stopped recognized him from the trial, offered condolences instead of questioning his presence alone in the halls of the Callisto, and gave him the directions he needed. Finally he reached Colonel Charybdis's quarters, and didn't hesitate to knock loudly.
He heard movement inside, and then the door slid open. Charybdis didn't have time to react as Elmer swung immediately and connected with Charybdis's chin, sending him sprawling back into the room. Elmer stepped in as well, and the door slid shut behind him.
Charybdis was still trying to get his bearings as Elmer stood over him. He didn't strike again, only stood there, looking down with contempt.
"That was for Amy" Elmer started. "And for her family. Seeing she ain't around no longer, I'll have to finish up her affairs." Charybdis sat there, rubbing his chin, trying to focus.
"I never took to you" Elmer continued. "And Lords know I'll regret for the rest of my life not saying this sooner. It just wasn't right, a man of your yahrens with a... a child. I thought that in itself was bad enough, but I couldn't bear to break up my baby girl's heart when she seemed happy enough. Not knowing what she was doing maybe, but love is like that sometimes."
"But what were you thinking" he went on, "doing what you did on the eve of a suicide mission? Why in the 12 colonies would my daughter even consider a suicide mission? Didn't that in itself show you she wasn't in the right frame of mind to start with? And you took advantage of her. I hope you're happy, and I bet you are. You might be able to sleep well, you got what you wanted, but my wife and I never will. And Lords only know what horrors my baby girl went through before the end came. We don't even have anything to bury..."
His voice cracked suddenly, his emotions finally catching up to him, and the words choked off in his throat. He stood there, his posture a little less menacing, his steely eyes watering as he tried to keep himself together.
|
|
|
|
Post by Col. Charybdis on Jan 14, 2005 9:58:55 GMT -6
Elmer just stood there sobbing. I picked myself up, rubbing my jaw.
"OK" I said. "Maybe I deserved that one for all that has gone on. But the fact is, I did love her. I asked her to take the seal, for Sagan's Sake. I'm wasn't some love-struck daggit."
I moved toward the door which was still open. I stopped and turned, "I did love her, Elmer. And that's exactly why we did what we did before she left on her mission. We were saying goodbye. I bet half the squadron would do the same thing if they were going off to their deaths. She knew what she was getting herself into. She had no regrets...and neither do I."
Elmer turned his head a little to hear me. He still didn't look at me directly though.
I went on, "She was a good warrior. And if you didn't know that, then I guess you really didn't know your daughter as well as you think. " I hated saying that to him during his time in grief, but I thought I was right. Amy would not have gotten where she was without Brie's leadership and nurturing. And Brie would not have made that kind of mistake.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to report for duty on the bridge. All Hades Hole is breaking loose on this ship!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Amy81 on Jan 14, 2005 10:24:46 GMT -6
Elmer moved in a hurry, grabbing Charybdis and spinning him, shoving him up against the wall next to the doorway. He slammed the button to slide the door closed.
"Not so fast" Elmer said, "I'm not through with you."
"Don't you presume to tell me how well I knew my own daughter. The girl I knew was a fine young woman. And a great farmer. And if she'd been left alone, she could have been a great warrior too. But we'll never know that for sure, will we? And besides that, a long line of farming lineage will end because of what happened, and I've got nothing to bury but memories."
"And I know you two were going to be sealed once. But it never happened, did it? She'd gone and gotten close with other warriors too. Why was that? What gave you the right to take advantage of her at such a time when there were others in her life too? Not everyone on this ship has to pair off just because there is a mission coming up! There wasn't a line at her door, just you."
"And what could have made her want to volunteer for such a mission? One way....? She had her whole life ahead of her. Why would she do that? Now her life is a courtroom joke, her abilities laughed at, and her morals made questionable. A proud family name dragged through the dirt, because you couldn't control yourself. You disgrace humanity as well as that uniform!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Col. Charybdis on Jan 14, 2005 11:46:55 GMT -6
I couldn't believe Elmer was trying to blame me for everything that had gone wrong with Amy.
"You can't pin all that on me, Elmer. I don't know what you and she talked about before she joined the Academy, but that was not my doing. I never heard of her before she stepped foot onboard this ship. That's none of my business. But the fact was, I was there for her. I was ready to commit to her. Before she left on that mission, I was the one who was wanting her to stay, no one else showed up to send her off. I was the one who cared the most for her.
I didn't have anything to do with her going on that mission or any other for that matter. You want to talk to someone who does know? Go to the brig and ask Major Brie. She's the one who would know.
Your daughter had a fracking time trying to commit to something. To commit to me. I tried to be here for her, but she kept running off doing other things. I couldn't help that. I tried to be her solid footing, but she just couldn't stay put. And I had nothing to do with that...so don't go blaming me for her behaviour. As far as I'm concerned, I was the best thing for her and if you can't see that, then you're a blind old fool!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Amy81 on Jan 14, 2005 12:21:28 GMT -6
"Blind old fool?" Elmer repeated, grabbing Charybdis tighter by the collar, "I'll show you..." But his grip was already loosening slowly...
He let Charybdis go, his expression of rage softening. His face suddenly looked older then his yahrens. He turned and walked to the nearest chair, and he sat down heavily.
"She" he began, his back to Charybdis, "...she was my baby girl. My baby..." His shoulders shook. He turned to look at Charybdis. "What did she say? Did she say anything? You were one of the last people to see her before..." He looked away again. "What was she thinking?" he asked, burying his head in his hands, "my baby girl..."
|
|
|
|
Post by Col. Charybdis on Jan 19, 2005 10:06:42 GMT -6
Elmer began sobbing again...wanting to know her last words...
"We never said a word to each other. I know that's hard to believe, but...we didn't have to say any words."
Elmer just sort of seemed shocked, but didn't say anything.
"I lost her too, Elmer." I just came back to the realization and for the first time in many cycles, tears welled up in my eyes again...we both sat there crying.
|
|
|
|
Post by Col. Charybdis on Jan 19, 2005 10:26:08 GMT -6
A comm unit buzzed. "Colonel. Report to the bridge immediately." came the voice.
I quickly caught myself. I looked over at Elmer and said urgently, "I have to go. You can let yourself out."
I left and headed straight for the bridge...
|
|
|
|
Post by Amy81 on Jan 20, 2005 7:01:28 GMT -6
Elmer watched through watery eyes as Charybdis left the room. The tears continued to come, and Elmer began to feel a physical pain as his grief overwhelmed him.
Oh, his baby girl!
The time he’d wasted flooded in on him. His pride had been too much. He couldn’t support his only daughter because of his own stubbornness. He’d ignored her wishes, spurned her dreams, and refused to take part in the life she’d chosen for herself. Not even a kiss for luck on the day she’d left the agro ship. Luck she could have used…
And now she was gone.
And Abby. He knew now what she’d meant when she said she wouldn’t be waiting for him. He’d known from the start, he just chose to ignore that too, to satisfy his urge to lash out at Charybdis, to speak a mind he should have spoken long ago. It had been too late for those words now, so why couldn’t he control himself, hold onto what little he had left instead of ruining that too?
Abby. She was better off without him.
What had he done it all for? To cling stubbornly to a limb on a family tree long decimated by the war, to hold onto a tradition that he himself had spurned when he was younger?
You’re a fool, Elmer.
He’d wished his father had understood him back then just like his own daughter had hoped he himself would…
Dad. He understood now how his father had felt, seeing his only son reject the farmer’s life. How he’d felt when mom was taken from him, perishing in a fire that took half the farm during the driest growing season in a 100 yahrens… What man could have stood such grief?
It had only been then that Elmer became a farmer, grasping at the few remaining strands of his lost family ties, dedicating his life to trying to make amends to his father, his mother…
He’d hid it all behind a mask of steely stubbornness, but all he’d done in trying to live his life for his father was to repeat all the same mistakes, re-live all the same agonies…
He WAS a fool. A blind old fool, just like he’d called his father, like Charybdis had called him…
A cry of deep despair escaped from Elmer. He stood up, swaying, walking heavily to Charybdis’s bathroom. He pawed clumsily through the contents there until he’d found what he wanted. And without hesitation he did what his father had done so many yahrens ago.
He slid to the floor, his life force already ebbing. Dad, I’m sorry… Mom, Abby… Amy… a final tear slid down his cheek.
At last, Elmer found peace…
|
|
